The Boundary Blog

Laura Moulton

May 16, 2025

The Un-talked About Emotional Finance System

A lot of my work with boundaries has been the ability to systemize emotional constructs and being able to articulate it to those who are struggling and can’t seem to find the words to put to it. Just yesterday, I was seeing a one on one coaching client and she spoke about everything else except what she knew she needed to talk to me about.

I said to her at the end, “I can tell you are really annoyed, it seems as though you have a battery that is very drained. I do not believe it is your grief that isn’t sorted through, that sounds like you have that caught up, however you are annoyed and agitated.”

She said, “Yeah I know I am but I can’t seem to pinpoint it.”

I said, “I think I know why you wanna  know?” 

She said, “Yeah go for it.”

I said, “Ok so based on your language and how you are talking about things, here is what I can gather. Mothers day just passed and you are feeling incredibly unappreciated. As a single mom your children do a wonderful job for their development to show you how important you are to them. However, you are getting a lot of messages to be “grateful” for what you have when actually it is a small handful of rice and you’re being told to appreciate the meal.

Emotional Currency

There is such a thing! We don’t talk about this enough - but we only have so much emotional energy in a day. That’s why this is called emotional labor!

Emotional Protection

Anybody who has been in a bad relationship knows that protecting your heart and soul are vital to a healthy relationship. It is our job to know how to protect ourselves best - sadly no one teaches us, until now.

What To Do Next

1. Start by ordering my book. It is on Amazon at this link HERE 
2. You can scan the QR code in the book to head to my website or CLICK HERE if you are serious about getting your boundaries in order! 
3. Take my boundaries QUIZ <— here! To see how much energy you are using trying to have boundaries! 
4. Join my Facebook group if you haven’t already. I ask quiz questions and post all my new social media content there. 

You are so drained and feeling like taking care of yourself and actually getting a full meal is uneatable. You feel exhausted from pushing through things without getting fed or poured into properly.”

I said, “Isn’t fun that you didn’t have to tell me anything and I knew that?”

She said, “I kind of expect it now actually.”

Client Expectations

Now you may think this isn’t a common interaction with my clients. Ooohhh but it is! Look at my website video testimonials to understand the weird things I can articulate for clients under the coaching tab.

The problem is people don’t understand, or seem to know, how to properly understand how emotional currency works. We all have a  daily battery.There is only so much that we can handle to the point act we cannot. When we are unaware of how our load of energy is in a day - we reach a desperation mode. We will start having behaviors that tell literally everyone, including ourselves, we have had enough and can’t give anymore. Literally we are emotionally broke.

After sleeping and gaining some emotional energy allotment, we have a certain amount of that that we can spend for the day. Just like real money, depending on how much we spent previously we only have a certain amount per day for our “paycheck.”

Boundaries is the only emotional currency that is strong enough to PROTECT YOUR EMOTIONAL WALLET. Literally nothing else can do it as well as well established boundaries can! I have worked and lived around the most unhealthiest people you can probably imagine (said for my fellow trauma folk!) The most unhealthy people cannot stand healthy people with strong boundaries because they cannot drain their wallet and steal their emotional currency. It actually is the RDF of emotional wallets. Only self worth issues is what causes the unsafely to unravel to ultimately have an attack. Which is why self-worth is a huge topic in my boundaries course!

What I can say that for my clients is:

I have made my work appear easy.

I truly feel that was unintentional. The ability to systematize emotions and articulate it in a way that is understandable, relatable, and tangible is not an easy task.

I had another situation where the husband came into a different one on one coaching call and he said, “What I can do to find the root on why she is acting like this?” (Green flag!) I said, “Please don’t put that pressure on yourself, this is actually abnormally advanced and it is not typical for someone to be able to see the root the same way I do. Don’t put that expectation on yourself, but for her - it typically always comes down to abandonment and rejection.”

After some resolution for her I was able to get her to “weirdly” answer all of the questions for herself - the original questions she came in to ask me about. I joked and said to him, “hang on watch this magic, Ok Lauren* what do you want to do about work?” She just knew now, when she couldn’t before.

Her particular situation had to do with the emotional currency of planning a wedding and the constant family questions and judgements on what she wants to do. She was very drained and needed support where others where choosing to drain her and not provide her with it. She felt very lonely - rightfully so! Once we moved through the grief she was able to:

Make her boundaries.

If you are ready and committed NOW make sure to email me RiGhT NoW to get a spot!